Have you ever walked into a meeting with senior leadership feeling completely prepared… and then the moment you start speaking, your confidence disappears?

Your voice tightens. Your thoughts scatter. You start rambling or forget the point you were about to make.

It’s frustrating, especially when you know you’re capable.

Here’s the reassuring truth: this isn’t a confidence problem or a competence problem. It’s a biology problem. And once you understand what’s happening, it becomes much easier to manage.

The neuroscience behind why this happens

There’s a well-known neuroscience framework called SCARF, developed by David Rock. It explains five social domains that our brains treat as either “safe” or “threatening”:

• Status
• Certainty
• Autonomy
• Relatedness
• Fairness

First up on that list is what catches us out a lot professionally: status.

When you’re speaking to someone (you perceive as) more senior than you, your brain subconsciously registers a status gap. That gap is interpreted as a threat, and your nervous system responds the same way it would to physical danger.

Here’s what happens next:

• The amygdala (your brain’s threat detector) switches on
• Your prefrontal cortex (responsible for clear thinking, logic, and communication) dials down
• Your body releases stress hormones
• Your ability to think clearly and speak coherently drops

That’s why you might:

• Freeze
• Ramble
• Forget your key points
• Over-explain
• Sound less confident than you actually are

This isn’t weakness. It’s a built-in survival response.

The mindset shift that changes everything: identity → issue

The most powerful reframe you can make is this:

Stop making the moment about you. Start making it about the issue.

When your brain thinks the moment is about your identity (your credibility, your intelligence, your future) the threat response spikes.

When you shift the focus to the problem you’re there to solve, the emotional charge drops and your thinking comes back online.

You’re no longer “a junior person speaking to a powerful person.” You’re a professional contributing to a business decision.

That shift alone can dramatically reduce nerves.

Three practical tactics to calm your nerves and sound more confident

These are techniques I’ve seen work and used repeatedly in consulting, leadership rooms, and high-stakes meetings.

1. Acknowledge the nerves instead of fighting them

Telling yourself “don’t be nervous” doesn’t work. If it did, you would’ve fixed this already.

A better approach is to name what’s happening:

• “I’m feeling nervous because this conversation matters.”
• “This is a status threat response, not a sign I’m unprepared.”

This simple mental label creates psychological distance. It tells your brain: this is uncomfortable, but it’s not dangerous.

And that alone reduces the intensity of the response.

2. Lead with the issue, not your credibility

A common mistake people make with senior leaders is trying to prove their competence first:

• Long background explanations
• Overly detailed context
• Justifying why they’re allowed to have an opinion

Executives don’t need that. In fact, it often makes you sound less confident, not more.

Instead, start with a clear, executive-style framing:

“The problem is X. The impact is Y. My recommendation is Z.”

This does two powerful things:

• It positions you as a strategic thinker, not someone seeking permission
• It immediately shifts the conversation away from hierarchy and toward outcomes

You’re no longer “a junior person presenting.” You’re a contributor helping solve a business problem.

3. Speak at altitude

Senior leaders naturally think at a higher level of abstraction.

They care about:

• Why this matters
• What’s at stake
• What the downstream impact is
• How this connects to strategy, risk, or growth

If you stay too deep in the details, the conversation feels hierarchical: you explaining things to them.

When you link your point upwards, it becomes collaborative:

• “This matters because it affects customer retention.”
• “The risk here is reputational, not just technical.”
• “The upside is faster delivery and lower operational cost.”

Speaking at altitude:

• Builds credibility
• Reduces the power imbalance
• Makes the discussion feel peer-to-peer instead of top-down

The real takeaway

If you get nervous talking to senior leaders, it doesn’t mean you’re not ready for those rooms.

It means your brain is doing what it was designed to do when it senses a status threat.

Once you understand that:

• You stop judging yourself
• You stop trying to be “perfect”
• You start using structure instead of willpower

And when you:

• Shift from identity to issue
• Lead with the problem and recommendation
• Speak at the level executives operate at

…your confidence naturally follows.

OH! and remember…. they’re just people too.

Have you ever struggled with nerves when speaking to senior leadership? What helped you get past it?

I’d love to hear your experience in the comments.