At the beginning of my career, I thought confidence meant never making a mistake—or at least having a perfect explanation ready when I did. I thought leadership meant saying yes, always being the safety net, and doing whatever it took to make things look polished from the outside.

Now, over a decade into my journey across business ownership, consulting, and corporate architecture, I’ve learned that growth doesn’t come from perfection. It comes from reflection, boundaries, and choosing the kind of leader you want to be, even when it’s hard.

While I’ve experienced some incredible highs and have a lot I’m proud to teach and share, I also know there’s still so much more to learn. And I wonder how these lessons will look another 15 years from now.

Here’s what I know (so far).

Confidence Isn’t the Absence of Mistakes—It’s What You Do Next

In the early days, I’d make a mistake and immediately try to explain it away, justify my intentions, prove that I meant well. But over time, I realised confidence isn’t about defending yourself. It’s about taking responsibility, fixing the path forward, and learning how to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Being a leader fast-tracked that shift for me. I remember telling my team, “It’s okay to make mistakes—we’ll fix this.” Seeing their relief in those moments rewired something in me. If I could offer them patience and support, I could offer it to myself too. Leading others taught me how to lead myself, gently.

Boundaries Were Born the Day I Let Someone Fail

At uni, I was the student who did the whole group project if others didn’t. That pattern followed me into my early work life—people handing me half-done work, knowing I’d stay up all night to save the final product.

Eventually, I learned the hard truth: I couldn’t care more than everyone else forever. I had to let people fall short and learn from the consequences. I had to step back, swallow the discomfort of saying “I’m not sure what happened” to clients, and allow others to take full ownership of their output.

That’s when boundaries were born, not as walls, but as accountability. Success couldn’t always rest on my shoulders. If I wanted to lead, I had to let others fail so they could rise.

You Can Be More Than One Version of You

Early in my career, I felt I had to “play a role” to be taken seriously, toning down, toughening up, performing a version of me that would fit. Then I read The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman and adopted a practice that changed everything: naming my alter egos.

Not just for confidence, but for clarity. “Sad Sarah” might show up with self-doubt before a big presentation, but “Kick-Ass Kimmi” was the one I’d send into the meeting. Beyoncé had Sasha Fierce. Dwayne Johnson had The Rock. Why not create my own powerful version?

Over time, I learned that I didn’t have to be the role, I just had to own the version of me that could rise to it.

Respect Starts With You

If someone asked me, “How do I get people to take me seriously?” I’d say: Start with yourself.

Do you take yourself seriously? Do you know what you want to say, and do you believe in your words?

Write it all down—how you see yourself, how you want to be seen, and some meaningful actions (even micro ones like sitting straighter or speaking with more intention) to close the gap.

Respect doesn’t come from age or title. It comes from alignment. If your actions and confidence don’t match the vision you have for yourself, start there.

You’re Doing Fine, And There’s Still Room to Grow

Imposter syndrome thrives in silence. If you’re secretly wondering, “Am I actually good at this?”, you’re not alone. The truth? Even top performers question themselves.

So here’s my take: If you’re not making massive mistakes or wasting time and resources, you’re doing just fine.

You’re on a journey. Get comfortable with where you are, then set your next challenge. Name it. Own it. Want to get all your user stories done this sprint? Do it. Then say it out loud: “I crushed that.”

If you fall short? That’s okay too. Reflect. What got in your way? What could you control? What couldn’t you? What will you try next time?

Success is a loop: try → learn → try again. Confidence grows when you see yourself trying.

What I’m Still Learning

Even with everything I’ve experienced, I know I’m still early in a long leadership journey.

I wonder how I’ll define confidence 15 years from now. I wonder if the boundaries I hold firm today will soften—or strengthen—in different ways. I wonder what I’ll wish I could tell myself now, just as much as I wish I could tell that version of me at the start.

Growth doesn’t end. It stretches. And that’s what keeps this journey so full of possibility.