“Did They Really Mean It That Way?” — How to Navigate Ambiguous Workplace Interactions

We’ve all been there. You’re in a meeting, and a male colleague talks over you or reiterates a point you just made—but this time, he gets the credit. A rush of frustration rises. The immediate thought might be: Was he trying to undermine me? or Is he trying to make me look bad in front of the client?

For many women in tech (and some men, too), this kind of situation can trigger overthinking. We analyze every nuance, tone, and gesture. While this self-awareness can be a strength, it can also leave us feeling drained, second-guessing our own perceptions. In contrast, the colleague in question may view the moment as a non-event.

So how do you navigate these situations without immediately assuming the worst or brushing off real issues?

1. Pause and Consider Multiple Perspectives 🕰️

Before reacting, take a mental step back and ask yourself:

• Could it be unintentional? Was your colleague just eager to contribute or unaware they interrupted you?
• Is it a pattern? Does this happen frequently with the same person, or is it a one-off?
• What else might be going on? Could stress, tight deadlines, or differing communication styles be influencing their behavior?

Considering these angles helps you avoid jumping to conclusions and keeps you grounded.

2. Frame Your Feelings Objectively 🧠

Instead of thinking, “He’s undermining me,” try rephrasing it as, “My idea was repeated without credit. How can I address this constructively?” Separating your emotions from the situation allows for clearer thinking.

3. Give the Benefit of the Doubt (Until You Can’t) 🤝

If it’s the first or second time this has happened, assume positive intent. Many people don’t realize the impact of their actions until it’s pointed out. A simple nudge can work wonders.

You could say: “I’m glad you liked that idea! I actually mentioned it a few minutes ago. Let’s expand on it together.”

This gently asserts your contribution without creating conflict.

4. Address It Directly, but Tactfully 🗣️

If it becomes a recurring issue, a one-on-one conversation can clarify things. For example: “I noticed a few times in meetings that my ideas get echoed without acknowledgment. I’d appreciate it if we could be more mindful of this.”

Most reasonable colleagues will appreciate the feedback and adjust their behavior.

5. When It’s Time to Advocate for Yourself 💪

If benefit-of-the-doubt and direct conversations haven’t changed anything, it’s time to assert yourself more firmly. Examples include:

• In the moment: “I’d like to finish my thought before we move on.”
• Looping in allies: Sometimes a trusted peer can help reinforce your contributions in meetings.
• Documenting patterns: Keep track of repeated instances if you need to escalate the issue to management.

6. Recognize Overthinking Traps 🕳️

If you find yourself replaying the situation repeatedly, ask:

• “Is this helping me solve the issue?”
• “What’s the simplest explanation?”

Not everything needs to be analyzed to exhaustion. Trust your gut and your ability to handle things if they escalate.

Final Thoughts 🌟

Navigating workplace dynamics, especially as a woman in tech, can feel like walking a tightrope. While it’s important to give others grace, it’s equally important to recognize when it’s time to stand your ground. You don’t have to tolerate behavior that consistently sidelines your contributions.

Strive for balance: thoughtful consideration first, assertive action when necessary. Your voice matters—don’t let overthinking drown it out.

How do you handle ambiguous interactions in the workplace? I’d love to hear your strategies and experiences! 👇

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