Early January always brings the same conversations.

New goals. New habits. New year, new you.

But there are two quotes I saw scrolling social media that I loved and prompted me to write this and they quietly challenge the way we think about change:

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself.”

“If you have a bad attitude, you chose it.”

They’re uncomfortable truths, and that’s exactly why they matter.

You Don’t “Discover” the Next Version of Yourself

You Build It

We often talk about finding ourselves as if there’s a finished version waiting somewhere down the road.

In reality, who we become is shaped by:

• the standards we set,
• the behaviours we repeat,
• and the choices we make when no one is watching.

The new year doesn’t magically reveal clarity or motivation. It simply gives us a clean checkpoint to ask:

“Who do I want to intentionally create this year?”

That applies to leadership, parenting, careers, health, confidence, all of it.

Feelings Are Real, But They’re Not in Charge

The second quote is even more confronting:

“If you have a bad attitude, you chose it.”

This doesn’t mean we ignore hard days, burnout, stress, or disappointment. Those feelings are valid.

But they don’t get to dictate how we show up.

There’s a difference between:

• having a bad moment, and
• leading with a bad mindset all day.

Attitude is often the one thing we still control:

• how we respond,
• how we speak to others,
• how we frame a challenge,
• whether we show up with intention or default to autopilot.

And those daily micro-choices shape our entire experience of life far more than big annual goals ever will.

Alignment Beats Motivation Every Time

New Year’s resolutions tend to focus on outcomes:

• get fitter
• be more successful
• be happier
• do more

But alignment asks a better question:

“What kind of person would naturally achieve those things, and how would they show up today?” then following that up with “How can I do to become that kind of person?“

Not when motivation is high. Not when life is easy. But on an ordinary Tuesday.

That’s where real change happens. Habits are far more powerful than motivation.

A Simple Reset for the Year Ahead

Instead of chasing a “new you,” try this:

• Decide who you want to be. (adjectives, goals, feelings, day in a life)
• Choose attitudes that support that identity. (list them, rank yourself, write scripts)
• Act in alignment, even when you don’t feel like it. (consider a paper habit tracker)

Because life isn’t about finding yourself. And our feelings don’t get to run the show.

It’s about consciously creating a version of ourselves we’re proud to stand behind, one day at a time.