How do you usually start a professional conversation?

Maybe it’s a quick “Oh traffic was awful” or a “Busy day hey?” or even a deep sigh as you arrive in the meeting room or log onto a call.

These kinds of comments seem harmless. They’re just small talk. A way of settling in. But what if I told you they’re not just neutral noise — they’re actually setting the tone for the entire interaction?

They’re priming both you and the people around you to engage from a place of negativity.

And that matters more than you might think.

First impressions aren’t just made, they’re felt

When we meet someone or start a conversation, our brain is firing up to answer a couple of key questions almost immediately. Can I trust you? Do I like you? Are you someone I can connect with? These impressions form in milliseconds and are incredibly hard to shift once set.

If your very first words in a conversation are about stress or negativity, even just a throwaway line, you’ve already coloured the interaction.

That opening cue creates a subtle ripple effect. The other person is more likely to respond in kind, matching your tone. You’re stressed? Now they’re thinking about their own stress. You’re tired? Now they’re subconsciously lowering their energy. The emotional bar has been set low before the conversation even had a chance.

Positive cues create positive connections

This isn’t about fake optimism or putting on a bubbly mask when you don’t feel it. It’s about using intention to frame your presence and give both you and the person you’re speaking with a better starting point.

When you begin with something slightly positive, it doesn’t have to be grand, you shift the brain into a more open and curious state. You’re creating an environment where people are more likely to feel safe, connected, and engaged.

Here’s the interesting part. You’re not just doing this for them. You’re doing it for yourself too.

Because when you deliberately look for something positive to say before entering a meeting or conversation, it primes your own brain into a more optimistic, collaborative mode. It shifts your attention away from the swirl of stress or distraction and helps you show up as a warmer, more effective communicator.

That could be as simple as:

• “Beautiful light in here this morning”
• “That was such a good session last time, I’ve been thinking about it since”
• “Hey I saw your team’s update on the dashboard, some great results in there”
• “I finally tried that coffee place you mentioned, you were right, so good”
• “Lovely Teams background, very unique!”

Small. Specific. Genuine. That’s all it takes to shift the tone.

What happens when you don’t?

The cost of defaulting to negative openers isn’t always obvious at first. But it shows up in subtle ways:

• People may become defensive or mirror your stress
• You might feel more emotionally drained after conversations
• The tone of meetings may veer toward complaints or conflict
• Your presence might be remembered as intense or tense

Even if the rest of the conversation goes well, that first five seconds planted a seed. And seeds grow.

The neuroscience behind it

This isn’t just social theory. There’s brain science behind it too.

Our brains are wired for emotional mirroring. When we pick up on someone else’s tone, posture, or expression, our mirror neurons fire in response. It’s part of what makes us empathetic, and part of what makes moods contagious.

When you start with stress, you’re creating a feedback loop. You reinforce your own stress and spread it. But when you start with warmth, positivity, or curiosity, the same thing happens in reverse. You set the emotional thermostat for the room.

This small shift has measurable outcomes. In team settings, it contributes to better psychological safety. In client conversations, it builds rapport faster. And in leadership, it creates an impression of stability and emotional intelligence, even if you’re under pressure.

Train your opener

Like anything, this is a skill you can develop. You don’t have to always be upbeat or polished, you just need to choose intention over autopilot.

Before you walk into a room, join a call, or open a chat, take a breath and think of one slightly positive thing you can lead with.

It doesn’t need to be rehearsed or profound. It just needs to be real. A small thread of light to start the interaction.

Because if you open with stress, you’re likely to get more stress.

But if you open with something warm, something observant, something kind — you create space for a different kind of conversation. And that small shift can change your relationships, your reputation, and your results.